Home Page

Divine
Madness

Dr.Dick's
Photo

R.Catholic
Church

Clergy
Research

My 2 ¢
Worth

Spiritual Support

In God
We Trust

Spiritual
Poverty

Reference
Sites

Interesting
Data

Mia
Familia

Posted
Forwards

Subject: The 1960s vs. the 2000s

Then: Long Hair
Now: Longing for hair.

Then: The perfect high.
Now: The perfect high yield mutual fund.

Then: Keg.
Now: EKG.

Then: Acid Rock.
Now: Acid Reflux.

Then: Moving to California because it's cool.
Now: Moving to California because it's warm.

Then: You're growing pot.
Now: Your growing a pot.

Then: Watching John Glenn's historic flight
            with your parents.
Now: Watching John Glenn's historic flight
            with your children.

Then: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth             Taylor.
Now: Trying not to look like Marlon Brando or             Elizabeth Taylor.

Then: Seeds and stems.
Now: Roughage.

Then: Popping pills, smoking joints.
Now: Popping joints.

Then: Our president's struggle with Fidel.
Now: Our president's struggle with fidelity.

Then: Paar.
Now: AARP.

Then: Being caught with Hustler magazine.
Now: Being caught with Hustler magazine.

Then: Killer weed.
Now: Weed killer.

Then: Hoping for a BMW.
Now: Hoping for a BM.

Then: The Grateful Dead.
Now: Dr. Kevorkian.

Then: Getting out to a new, hip joint.
Now: Getting a new hip joint.

Then: Rolling Stones.
Now: Kidney stones.

Then: Being called into the principal's office.
Now: Calling the principal's office.

Then: Screw the system!
Now: Upgrade the system.

Then: Peace sign.
Now: Mercedes logo.

Then: Parents begging you to get your hair cut.
Now: Children begging you to get their heads shaved.

Then: Taking acid.
Now: Taking antacid.

Then: Passing the driver's test.
Now: Passing the vision test.

Then: "Whatever"
Now: "Depends"

This was an e-mailed forwarded to me. I believe came from a preacher. The subject was titled:
"One Friday Afternoon!"

An elderly lady was well-known for her faith and for her boldness in talking about it. She would stand on her front porch and shout, "Praise the Lord!"

Next door to her lived an atheist who would get so angry at her proclamations he would shout, "There ain't no Lord!"

Hard times set in on the elderly lady, and she prayed for God to send her some assistance. She stood on her porch and shouted, "Praise the Lord. God, I need food! I am having a hard time. Please, Lord, send me some groceries!"

The next morning the lady went out on her porch and noted a large bag of groceries and shouted, "Praise the Lord." The neighbor jumped from behind a bush and said, "Ha, ha. I told you there was no Lord. I bought those groceries. God didn't."

The lady started jumping up and down and clapping her hands and saying, "Praise the Lord. He not only sent me groceries but he made the devil pay for them!"

Subject: Kids In Church - Priceless Stories

A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church? " One bright little girl replied,
"Because people are sleeping."

****************************************************

The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered,
"If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"

****************************************************

Six-year old Angie and her four-year old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. You're not supposed to talk out loud in church." Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said,
"See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."

****************************************************