what's new...

Upcoming gigs...

How we rock...

buy stuff

Who, what, why...

Ugly mugs...

Book us, Dan-O...

Things we dig...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bionic Lover

last name's Austin

first name's Steve

Jaime Sommers is all I need

she's got thighs of steel

she is jumping trees

Jaime Sommers was built for speed

I'm never happy until I see see her come

 

built to last by Rudy Wells

she's super strong and fast as hell

when she retires she''ll get a gold watch

is that all she gets for fighting a sasquatch?

 I'm never happy until I see see her come

 

Chorus:

It’s hard to feed my walking head

It’s hard to feed my talking head

It’s hard to feed my ugly walking head

My Bionic Lover

  

working for the OSI

she's catching commie pinko spies

she's always pleasant, she's never crass

I'd like to see her kick Oscar's punk ass

I'm never happy until I see her come

(chorus)  

remember when you were 12 years old

Dreamin' Jamie giving you the bone

she's a high-tech momma in the dead of night

her rebuilt circuits are super tight

but you look down it is Max the dog

dog spelled backwards...

(chorus)

<top>

 

 

 

 

 

If You Were Mine

I see you hiding behind a paper-thin disguise

you can fool yourself but you can't fool me

he doesn't care for you, his promises are lies

what will it take to make you see?

 

I know it sounds like a worn out cliché

but you don't have to live that way

I'll help you make the choice

I could give you a voice

let's lose the monkey, you and me

 

he wouldn't hurt you if you were mine

if you were mine

 

had a dream last night we were riding across this land

my bareback baby your eyes shone bright

a pillar of fire and you disappeared from sight

some mutants worship the golden bomb

 

I'm running wild through fields of grass

gorillas chasing my human ass

God curse those damn dirty apes!

and if we manage to escape

I'll make those filthy monkeys pay

I'll make them scream

 

he wouldn't hurt you if you were mine

if you were mine

 

riding on the beach now we're alone and free

I love you and you love me

come across half-buried Liberty

why'd they do it? didn't they see?

 

I wish I could go back

I'd like another crack

at bashing that orangutan

I'd show him who is best

a rat bastard on a quest

I'd stab him in the furry back

 

he wouldn't hurt you if you were mine

if you were mine

<top>

 

 

 

 

 

Jessica’s Biscuit

I see her smiling

wonder what's up with that

like a siren

giving me a heart attack

some sort of lightning

shooting out from her eyes

a mound of Venus

leading to those American thighs

 

Chorus:

wonder what's come over me

wish her loving came free

messing with my sanity

devil temptress let me be

 

a freakish factor

she ain't no normal girl

starts my reactor

and gets my flag unfurled

she's a tiger

a total mutant babe

disproportional

in all the right kinds of ways

 

(chorus)

 

slinking away but the chain still binds me

drain away my tortured soul

 

can't stand the heat get me out of the kitchen

I'm tense and nervous and my finger's itching

to pull my trigger I can't wait to unload

can't control this obsessive reaction

turning into a psychotic attraction

but I can't put my hands on it

 

I watch my timing

when will she make a play

a simple simon

she has just got to say

<top>

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

13th Anniversary   

Last night I had a dream

about me and you and guillotines

like maybe we ain't meant to be

you know "ripped through my fucking heart dreams"

 

running like a thief

running from you honey

in total disbelief

that we're both total fucking losers

 

can't console my conscience

logic fails me

no more further nonsense

thought of you sickens me

toxic disdain  

nice bloody fucking train wreck honey

 

like cyanide and kerosene

your love's incendiary poison

loving you was never hard

cause I don't think I ever did bitch

 

all night long I feel the rain

crimson warm and flowing

sorry if I caused you pain

I got to go before the cops show up

(chorus)

 <top>

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cross-eyed

Come hang a round me my dark angel

when you’re rolling those I eyes I know I am in danger

and my silicon chip's gone overload over you

 

Aw come on I wanna see you dance

wildcat hellfire bitch romance

feel the back of your hand, the spiked heel of your boot

 

I need I need I need your touch

just a piece got an itch I need your touch

I need I need I need your touch

I need you

 

some like it heavy

some like it hard

my little honey likes it all at once

she is the law

a shot in the dark

my little baby likes to rip rip rip it apart

 

I see a lot I see the way that you use it

a rattlesnake tail there's nothing to it

I got a radio ear and a video eye on you

 

your love is like wrecking a train

demolition girl with your deprived brain

along with the pleasure, know that the pain comes too

 

(chorus)

 

My love has been hated and jaded but my personal hygiene rules

A sick pageant I've binged for a week now

black hearted and wickedly amused

 

My love has been hated and jaded my personal hot tin roof

A sick pageant I've binged for a month now

black hearted and wickedly amused

<top>

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The First Time

I knew she was the one

From the first time I came undone

Saw stars from stripes and bunnyman hair

And w here she leads me, I don't even care

 

(chorus)

I know the end is coming soon

I'm a slave to the wailing of her womb

Random acts of fetish-ridden doom

I know that the end is coming soon

 

I'm seeing you for the first time

 

And I think it's swell

 

See my baby she's a sight for sore eyes

She makes me hungry, makes my spirit rise

People say that I'm insane

She's coming on like a hurricane

 

(chorus)

 

See my baby by the side of the road with her big head split in two

Her eyes all cloudy and her red lips turning blue

See my baby by the side of the road with her big head split in two

Her eyes all cloudy and her red lips turning blue, oooh!

 

I’m seeing you for the first time

 

And I think it's swell

 <top>

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Japanese weekend

I can't find my way

can't find the words to say

how much I hate to see your face

how I need to see you pay

 

for the way you walked on me

tore my heart right off my sleeve

burned my shred of dignity

and left me crumpled and diseased

 

I need revenge

feel it rebuild my edge

I need revenge

I need to crush you to breathe again

 

behold, my mask is clear

restored honor awaits near

the angels will fucking cheer

my vengeance made known now and here

 

come sweet bloody wrath

adorn my righteous path

I will share with you my pain

I will burn you with my rage

 

(chorus)

 

(improv)

 

I'll have a Japanese weekend

<top>

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lockjaw

Honey

Lockjaw

you drip when you walk

well here I come

well here I come

 

Honey

Give me a sign

cancer 69

and here I come

and here I come

 

And I know nothing

about love

And I know nothing

about love

 

aw girl

you shine

whiskey and strychnine

and here I come

and here I come

<top>

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Manchurian Candidate

You know I'd feel better if I wasn't so dead

Fucked up things running through my head

Ripping my eyes to a real dark red

Holding on tight to what she said

I got a bucket full of lies

I got to straighten out my mind

gotta clean out all the grime

 

Murder that boy Murder that boy

Murder that boy Murder that boy

Murder that boy Murder that boy

It's ugly truth

I'm an idiot!

 

Having these feelings deep inside

Like pissed off mariner buckin the tide

ride on daddy like bucket of chum

limpin' down here I'm a walkin' pun

a pathetic little clown

only happy when I'm down

I'll disintegrate that frown when I

 

(chorus)

 

Fighting those things that you never can see

Eating my heart to just to watch it bleed

Like a psychopathic septic breed

Hollowed out from a deep blue need for you

A Technicolor shroud

As rainy as a cloud

I'm obnoxious and I'm  loud, but that's ok cause I'll

 

(chorus)

 

Frankie is gone, Deano is gone, Sammy is gone, Frankie is gone  

 

You know I'd feel better if I wasn't so dead

Fucked up things running through my head

Ripping my eyes to a real dark red

Holding on tight to what she said

I got a bucket full of lies

I gotta straighten out my mind

gotta clean out all the grime

 

(chorus)

<top>

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Palm Wine Drunkard

These skeleton walls hide a fire tonight

My hands are bloody and I'm not tired

A rancid heart takes it all in stride

There's nothing new here but you can't say we never tried

 

So I walk on just a motherless child

My wrecking ball mouth hasn't slowed me down

I stood in, mental cannons roared

Kept on smiling even when they were scraping me up off of the floor

 

Ah yah I'm the palm wine drunkard

Ah yah one and the same

Pretty girl I'm here to assault you

Yes in fact that’s why I came

 

Got all of these veins and they carry whatever

Once had a brain but it did me no good

Stood at the world all my rages were clever

Ain't no damn magic any more in this girl

 

Cellophane girl kiss the mighty oak tree

She lies in silence because she is finally free

And the angels notified her fax

They had no time to cover up every one of her tracks

 

(chorus)

<top>

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sick Little Phil

Sick little Phil got his tongue tied late last night

That midget weasel fuck met his end and that's all right

 

I don't care what he said to you

He was an assface spunkwad retard who

Was blight on the soul of human race

With a spunkwad retard asshole face

 

Sick little Phil got a poker shoved up his ass

He was stripped of his clothes rolled in turpentine and glass

 

I just say that's cool with me

Whoop-dee-do and zippy-dee-dee

I just wish I could have seen him twitch

When they ripped of his nipples and the cut off his dick

 

A 4 foot ten-inch squid abortion

A small footed bastard of epic proportions

A fork-tongued pinhead mutant prick

A vile moldy jar of rotten yogurt

 

whoa whoa I hate you

whoa whoa I hate you

whoa whoa I hate you

whoa whoa I hate you

 

Sick little Phil got his tongue tied late last night

They shit down his neck and man that's out of sight

 

And that's ok I must confess

Because he was a product of worm incest

And he always thought he was the shit

But wasn't worth the sweat off a possum's tit

 

What a slice of Vermin pie

A slimy pinhead

Napoleonic twerp

I wish I could kill him

<top>

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Spent

Mary came on a midnight train

And she broke me like a twig

And she danced an Irish jig like a neutron dawn

 

Riddled with holes still sober though

And that's more than I can say

I guess that's the price you pay for eating soul food

 

Hey I'm weary

I am spent

Weary

Spent

 

I don't know about her power to save

but she swallows every time

Spin you on a dime, she's a can can girl

 

Angelic rabid super dog

in a pool of blood and wine

with crazy frostbit eyes I rip the moon

 

Hey I'm weary

I am spent

weary

Spent

 

I took a walk just the other day

Down where the children confess and they pray

Prostrate subhuman before a king

Blinded by you I don’t see a thing

 

I can survive today

I can get by today

I can survive today

I don't trust you

I can survive today

I can get by today

I can survive today

I don't love you

 

I'm eight miles south of the Jersey line

and I'm not gonna make it home

and I'm frozen like a stone on the inside

 

It's been three days since I closed my eyes

And I ain't got the fucking time

There's a bullet in my spine and the radio's on

 

Hey I'm weary

I am spent

Weary

Spent

 

I took a walk just the other day

Down where the children confess and they pray

Prostrate subhuman before a king

blinded by you I don't see a thing

 

I can survive today

I can get by today

I can survive today

I don't trust you

I can survive today

I can get by today

I can survive today

I don't love you

 

I knew from the start

You like to pretend

You broke my heart

Well who gives a damn

 

I knew from the start

You like to pretend

Fucked up my heart

Well who gives a damn

<top>

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

,Sutra'

willie the joker and jimmy the creep

looked so damn bloody when they lost their feet

and my , sutra just won't stand still

all of my fragments beginning to spill

 

who the hell said she was a virgin son

 

I'm back to the ground

I'm back to the ground

Not so soft I bark and howl

Not so soft I'm back to the ground

 

You're Machiavellian dishing that rage

Caught like a twister and thrown off the stage

your sinister plan the procession of kings

virile and ready to do anything

 

can't hit the target if you don't have a gun

 

I'm back to the ground

I'm back to the ground

Not so soft I bark and howl

Not so soft I'm back to the ground

 

Bend me pariah you're making me whole

Stabbing and clutching the heart that you stole

Menaced by fire the bricks and the breeze

Demented desire pristine this disease

 

Looks like angel but she's no damn fun

 

I'm back to the ground

I'm back to the ground

Not so soft I bark and howl

Not so soft I’m back to the ground

<top>

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Motel 6

Honey well I gotta go

I gott a go somewhere

Honey now it's party time

Yah I'm going nowhere

 

Baby's got an IV

Goin'drip drip drip drip

She started speakin'slowly

That's when I slipped

 

She's just a girl and she's seedy seedy

Been around while and she's bleedin' bleedin'

Never trust that girl she's a goddamn spy

 

Goin'’ to a motel motel motel

Goin' to a motel, motel 6

 

Sonny come and rescue me

I've gone limp in the hot rod

shakin' like a Philistine

I burned down the junkyard

 

She's just a girl so she's gotta keep clean

Cream puff swirl from a deep blue dream

She's the president's daughter but I know she lied

 

Goin' to a motel motel motel

Goin' to a motel, motel 6

 

She's just a girl with some damn bad habits

Go around the world for a buck and a half

You know she's gonna run if you don't keep her tied

 

Goin'to a motel motel motel

Goin'to a motel, motel 6

 

we'll leave the light on for you

<top>